Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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