We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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