Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
