im drinking this country out of the recession.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
