you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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