Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
