he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize