It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
