there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
