so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
