I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She's the barista slut.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
