she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
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Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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