my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
how drunk are you?
Several
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
