Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i permit you to call me
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize