I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
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My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
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2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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