South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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