so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
