dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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