I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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