I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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