K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
