Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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