But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
this is an emotional support booty call
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize
