It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
