i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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