bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
