I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
