I want to make a zoo with you.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize