Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize