Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
