did you get engaged???
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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