No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
