Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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