When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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