You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
