I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
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