I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
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no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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