That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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