Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize