I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
