i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
