K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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