I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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