you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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