I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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