this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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