I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
