I just cut my nipple shaving
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize