$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
