Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
worst night to have a conscience
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize