You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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