i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Did I show you my penis last night?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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