You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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