She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
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Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
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Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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