But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize