They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
What a dumb baby whore.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
