He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
