Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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