I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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