To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
