I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
